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Self-coaching 3: What is self-coaching? Why is it so important now?


Over the last few weeks, I've received various questions about self-coaching like, what is self-coaching all about? How do you do self-coaching? How does self-coaching help us in our everyday life? Why has self-coaching suddenly become so important?

I decided to share my story of self-coaching that also includes the background of the Human Genome Project and the current genetic shift we are experiencing.

Wake-up call

At the height of my career as a lecturer in Organisational Psychology at a large university, with a flourishing consulting company, a coaching practice, and a large household with four sons, my life suddenly came to a standstill. I found myself paralysed with fractured neck vertebrae after a motor car accident.

However, the worst was still to come. After more than six weeks the doctors found that I hadn't begun to heal. I was so burnt-out that the DNA responsible for growth and healing was frazzled. This was a serious wake-up call. I overspent my energy resources, my life force. If something drastic didn't happen, I might never be able to walk again. I might even die.

This was not only a wake-up call, it was a turnaround point in my life.

I realised, people all over the world are also at a turning point. We are not alone on this journey. The current Covid-pandemic is just but one of these wake-up calls. The question is, how do you turn this all around?

Sliding down a dark pit

Pinned to my bed with neck braces and steel support structures, I found myself sliding down the slippery slopes of a pit of darkness filled with shock, anger, despair, depression, and feeling hopeless and powerless. I felt a deep sense of loss, emotional pain, and anxiety because I knew my life would never be that same again.

Everything I knew to be my whole life had suddenly fallen away.

However, at this darkest moment, I realised that I had a choice. We have been given free will – the ability to choose. The choices were, or I stay in this dark and depressing state, or I create something totally new.

I decided to see this experience as a wake-up call. It became a turn-around time. l took me nearly a year to heal and to learn to walk again.

The Human Genome Project

As providence would have it, it was the same time that the research results of the Human Genome Project[1] were released. The Human Genome Project (HGP) was one of the great feats of exploration in history.

Rather than an outward exploration of the planet or the cosmos, the HGP was an inward voyage of discovery led by an international team of researchers looking to sequence and map all of the genes -- together known as the genome -- of members of our species, Homo sapiens. Beginning on October 1, 1990, and completed in April 2003, the HGP gave us the ability, for the first time, to read nature's complete genetic blueprint for building a human being.

Turning a setback into a come-back

My time pinned to my bed became not only a period of rest, but also an opportunity to read study, research, and learn. Looking back, I now realise that it was a time of preparation for the next season of my life. This even included a whole new career.

This so-called ‘set-back’ became my greatest gift.

Having a B.Sc. degree in natural and medical sciences and a Ph.D. in Psychology, it fascinated me to learn that we all have a unique DNA blueprint of who we are that holds the keys not only to our physical health, but also to our emotional, mental, and spiritual wellbeing. I learnt we also have psychological and spiritual DNA just waiting to be discovered. At the moment, all this power and potential is on hold.

DNA functions like a micro-chip

Our DNA functions like a microchip that not only holds our personal information but is also the connection between us, who are, and all the power and potential of the Universe. Our external macro-world connects to our inner personal micro-world in and through our microchip – our DNA. I discovered that we are part of a magnificent universe of power, potential and infinite opportunities. We don't need to suffer.

At the same time - we are all connected to each other, not only on a DNA level but also on a universal level. We are not alone.

New discovery

Just imagine, we all have a unique blueprint of who we are, what our purpose is, what success and prosperity really mean and how to be happy and fulfilled in every area of our lives, encoded as our DNA success-blueprint[2].

Unfortunately, we became disconnected from our blueprint. Another side of self developed out of this disconnection.

Two sides of self

So, now we all have two sides to ourselves. On the one side, we have the connected real authentic self[3] that can create a new life of health, wealth, success, and prosperity. The other side is our shadow ego-self that is disconnected and creates a life of darkness, despair, lies, depression, disease, negativity, loss, and destruction.

These two parts of self not only have different values, visions, and success strategies, they are also in constant conflict with each other. Whoever wins the inner battle, will take over the final decision-making process, and therefore determine the direction your life will take.

I realised that if I ever wanted to get myself out of my dark and depressing dilemma and walk again, I would need to know who I am, who is making the decisions in my life, take back my ill-spent energy/power, and use all the power and potential at my disposal, to not only heal myself but also to create a whole new life.

An ego-trip becomes a soul journey

The academic journey became a spiritual journey of self-discovery and connecting to the greater good and the power of the Universe.

An ego trip turned into a soul journey.

Slowly I started to heal. Today I can not only walk again but I love dancing and walking. A whole new career has developed out of this so-called ‘tragedy’ that will keep me productive for the rest of my life. A setback turned into a come-back.

This is what happens when you are forced to go within.

A whole new life opens up

During this time, I learnt to coach myself back to health by using my newfound emotional mental, and spiritual tools and skills. However, much more than my physical healing emerged from this journey. A whole new level of happiness, success, and fulfillment opened up.

It was as if I could see clearer and further. Never could I have imagined that a whole new life, filled with happiness and success, lay behind all the pain, trauma, and suffering.

Fortunately, I wrote everything down. Three books containing all the basic scientific, spiritual, and personal information are now available[4].

However, the most exciting part is that the same skills and tools I used to turn my life around, are available as the series of Authentic Living and Leading.[5]. Since then, the Academy for Authentic Living and Leading emerged that gives access to all the training courses, books, webinars, and podcasts.

Once again, life is throwing us a curveball in the form of the Covid pandemic. At the same time, a genetic shift is taking place. There is no time to waste. We need to think on our feet. Self-coaching has now become the number one skill we all have to develop if we are to ride the new waves of change and still stay productive and effective while creating a whole new future.

The questions are, what is self-coaching? Why is it important to develop self-coaching now? But first, we need to ask the question, what is coaching in the first place?


Coaching is a form of development in which an experienced person called a coach, supports a learner or client in achieving a specific personal and/or professional goal by providing training, learning, or counseling. The learner is sometimes called a coachee[6].