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Self-coaching. 5 Reasons people are addicted to negativity & how to solve it

Updated: Jul 31, 2021


Over the last year or two, people individually and the global community, have been faced with challenge after challenge. Many have met these waves of problems and crises, head-on in search of solutions. Others have been lagging, holding back, and waiting for someone else to solve the issues.

Resistance to solutions

At the same time, some have blankly refused to be part of the solution. In many instances, there are even people and groups who actively resist and even block positivity and new ground-breaking solutions and even sabotage the bearers of good news. It almost seems as if they are allergic to success, happiness, and progress.

It seems as if there is a large part of the population who are addicted to negativity. This means we need to address a 'negativity addiction' before e can move forward.

The questions are, are there people who are addicted to negativity? Why are they addicted to negativity? What are the consequences of being a 'negativity addict'? Can we solve this or even turn it around? How do we create a positive future that benefits all?

The addiction to negativity

Like all other addictions that include the abuse of drugs, alcohol, food, sex, and other addictive substances, some are addicted to negativity, violence, resistance, destruction, pain, and suffering. It gives them a false sense of power and control. We can see them as energy addicts or energy vampires that drain positive energy, out of the system.

Like all addictions, there is always a craving for the addictive substance. People will also go to great lengths to get what they think will make them feel better. Drug addicts go to people and places where they can get drugs. Energy addicts create chaos and negativity to feed their need for negative energy.

Negative energy addicts

This means that there are people who crave negativity and rely on chaos and feed off destruction, to survive. They fight, complain, find fault, blame, shame, resist, and oppose, but never bring any positive, constructive, solutions to the table.

The questions are, why would people do this? Can the negative energy addiction be cured? Is it possible to move forward with such a heavy load of negativity? What is the solution?

Why should we know this information?

The more important questions are, Why do we need to know this information? How can it help us personally, in our relationships, business, communities, cultures, and even a country? How can this information help me to help others to become better persons, and lead happy, fulfilling lives?

The answers are simple. Einstein said,

‘You cannot bring about change by force – only by understanding’

Firstly, if you have chosen to become part of the solution, you need to understand the people you are bringing the solution to. We can not be functional in a vacuum.

Secondly, you can also use this information to understand yourself. You can identify where you are coming from and who is part of the problem and who is part of the solution. We can work with this.

Thirdly, just by elevating our level of knowing, and understanding – we also elevate our level of being problem-solvers, pathfinders, mapmakers, and bridgebuilders in a world seeking answers.

Once again, the choice is. Are you part of the problem – or part of the solution?

So, let’s start at the beginning.

What is a negative energy addiction?

We all have a go-to place, a basecamp, and/or our home base. We will always unconsciously return to our baseline - if we don't change it. Many people have a positive baseline of love, safety, compassion, caring, and progress. Here we find about 10%+ of people.

However, there is a larger portion of people (estimated about 90%) who have a negative baseline that includes negativity, chaos, fighting, blaming, shaming, and abuse.

Whatever happens, they always seem to return to their go-to place irrespective of how negative and destructive it may be. The known is better than the unknown. They can even choose this baseline above and beyond any positive input and exiting solution.


They are not only caught up in the negativity but even addicted and crave the negative energy. The question is, Why? We find the answers in the neuro-functioning of the brain as the connection between us and the greater consciousness.

Different brains—different thinking

The brain is primarily divided into three parts. With different brains, we have different thinking, feelings, values, and different outcomes. The first brain resembles the brains of reptiles and is called the reptilian brain or cold-blooded brain.

The second is called the mammalian brain or warm-blooded baring, and the third, the higher brain or the neuro-cortex. There is also a positive and negative side as two sides of self.

To find answers, lets' have a look at where people are coming from.

The reptile brain

When one feels unsafe and endangered, the ‘reptile brain’ is activated. People choose between fight or flight. Unfortunately, a large part of the population has been exposed to violence and abuse and programmed with negativity, danger, and/or fear within their homes, family, communities, cultures, warzone countries, and even the global climate of the time.

  • · Programmed by fear

This means that most people are pre-programmed with fear, and they instinctively revert to fight or flee. This is their go-to place, their baseline, or their modus operandi. Their whole beingness is centred around minimising fear and fighting for survival.

To bring positivity and exciting solutions to people locked in this situation, have no effect. They first need to feel safe. Unfortunately, the world we currently live in seems threatening and unsafe. This causes more defenses, blockages, and resistance to anything new and uplifting.

  • · The solution

How do you bring a solution to people who are imprisoned by fear? You bring a whole new vision. You teach people to think in a new way. You help people to stop looking at current circumstances – somebody else created that. You support them in looking inward and forward. As path-finder and way-shower, you know the way, now go the way and show them the way. You being to lead others in the new direction.

As soon as we experience security and safety, there is a shift to the next level of brain functioning and the second brain is then activated.

The mammalian brain

The second brain, the so-called mammal brain, produces chemicals for emotional reactions. It also controls biorhythms like sleeping patterns, hunger, thirst, blood pressure, sexual needs, body temperature and chemistry, metabolism, and the immune system.

  • · Shutting down

When we experience an overload of problems, danger, or fear, this system shuts down. The person then returns to the previous system. It means that anger, fear, problems, and disharmony can manifest in a physical form, illness, stress, eating and/or sleeping disorder, sexual dysfunction, problems with blood pressure, and problems with the immune system that can lead to chronic infection and disease.

We all have defense mechanisms that developed over time. We all have work to do.

  • · Health issues

Our health is a physical manifestation of the emotional climate of the world we live in. Physical, mental, and emotional health problems are all part of our reaction to what is going on within us – and what is going on without. The three main areas we find problems in are; relationships, finances, and health problems. These are all wake-up calls to do something new.

We need to take cognisance of this group when we bring solutions and positive news of an exciting new future, to this group. Many of them will not only reject this new information, but they can even see it as threatening. Some even revert back to survival mode, out of fear of not being able to cope.

  • · The power of a healthy emotional climate

Creating a healthy emotional climate of safety, stability, compassion, acceptance, caring, support, love, and kindness, goes a long way in solving this issue.

  • · Be the solution

You can start just where you are by just being your, kind, loving, caring, happy, and authentic you. Just be. Be love. Be compassion. Be understanding. Just be there. Show up emotionally mentally, physically, and spiritually,

Get connected and be present in a world that is disconnected, divides, and lonely.

The neo-cortex

Over millennia, a ‘new’ brain, the neocortex, grew at an undetermined speed over the previously mentioned two brains. This is the external, grooved part of the brain.

  • · Finding solutions

Reasoning, thought, purposeful and effective behaviour, language, arbitrary muscle control, and non-verbal ideas, and vision, are processes that develop here. This relatively 'new' structure provides us with logic and reason. It is a specific thinking cap and the seat of human intelligence. Here we think rationally, logically, and find solutions to problems. Here we find the difference between brain and mind.

  • · Coaching the self

People who seek for and create solutions are securely connected to this level of thinking and problem-solving. To maximise the befits of this level, you first need to overcome the previous programming of fear and the fight or flight reaction. The challenge is to learn how to coach yourself out of a fight or flight reaction when things go wrong. This includes overcoming emotional inertia and/or physical, mental, emotional blockages, problems, and health issues. This is a choice.

Steven Hawkins is someone who set the example of overcoming severe physical disability and still stayed fully functional till his death. He oped the doorway to new thinking for us all, although he was severely handicapped.

New brain activated

However, recently a new part of the brain is being activated. It is the frontal lobes. Some even call it the power brain, the power spot, or miracle brain. This explains humanity’s great leap to a new octave of thinking, believing, feeling, and living, and a new kind and quality of life.

Currently, we are laying the foundation for this level of honesty, truth, integrity, and authenticity. This is where we will spend our next season of human existence.

Unfortunately, some will be able to make this leap, while others will stay behind.

The Frontal lobes[i]

This is the most recent part of the neocortex to develop. Although a natural activation is taking place, some people have chosen to speed up the process by mindfully, consciously, activating this part of their power and potential.

We find the frontal lobes active and fully functional in highly evolved people with vision, who bring creative solutions to current problems. They are bearers of good news and bring light and answers, to a world in darkness and chaos. Here we also find our inner GPS.

This is where we can learn to heal ourselves and recover our original DNA success-blueprint. Here we can connect to universal power, love, and wisdom. It is here the foundation of the next season of health, wealth, happiness, success, and prosperity is built. From here we take a leap to a new future.

The questions are, what must we know to tap into this power and potential? What new skills and tools do we need to activate this part of our potential? How can I activate my inner GPS? Where do I start? How can we help and assist others to make the leap to this level of success and happiness?

We will cover answers to these questions, in the posts over the next few weeks. But first, some background on the power and potential locked un the frontal lobes.

The power of the frontal lobes

Scientists found that the frontal lobes light up and eyes begin to shine when people are exposed to meaningful questions and information related to meaning, truth, love, compassion, happiness, vision, substance, and an exciting future. When people are excited about something or fall in love, their eyes begin to shine. It is as if an inner light is switched on.

The frontal lobes can also be called our ‘happiness centre’.

  • · Happiness centre

All our happy hormones, like serotonin and endorphins, are produced here. This is also the centre of love and compassion. With the right skills and tools, we can not only activate this power spot, but we can also stimulate the production of our happy hormones. The challenge is to first create happiness within ourselves before we can make anyone else happy. You find more information in the books, New success DNA. What you should know and how to activate it and the book Power Intelligence, Mastering your Miracle Mind.

People who are depressed take medication that to solve the shortage of happy hormones. However, a time must come where people learn to replenish their happy hormones by developing the necessary mindset, skills, and tools. They need to first make themselves happy. This is a lesson for another time.

  • · The miracle mind

This is also our miracle mind. Here we also develop the power to create miracles. Thoughts become things. We can change negativity and chaos into peace and compassion and sickness into health. Here we also find guidance and direction in a world that is lost.

  • · Inner GPS

Just like the GPS on our cell phones, we also have a GPS within our frontal lobes. Here we find direction and guidance. When we are connected here, we become pathfinders, mapmakers and we can show the way to a better life and a new future.

  • · Healing our DNA

The wonder of the frontal lobes is that it turns cosmic, universal light into amino acids. These are not only the building blocks for a healthy body, but it is also buildings blocks for healing our frazzled DNA. Here the unseen meets our physical reality. The universal, aka the spiritual dimension of light, becomes visible within our physical reality that is us. So above, becomes so below - in and through us.

When we get reconnected, we develop the ability to recover our original DNA blueprint. The original, authentic self, success-blueprint is then restored. We can reinvent ourselves and even create a whole new life. For this, we need a new intelligence - Power Intelligence.

  • · Power Intelligence

The frontal lobe is also our power spot. A new intelligence is emerging we call Power Intelligence. Power Intelligence is the intelligence of the future. Power Intelligence goes above and beyond rational and emotional intelligence. It is next-level intelligence where we have the ability to reclaim our power and restore our original DNA blueprint. We can even create miracles.

Ps. Subscribe for Daily Power Tools for Power People. You will receive a power tool you can use for that day in your inbox. This helps you to not only turn your life around but also maintain your positive position, in a primarily negative world. For more info, please see the book,

Unfortunately, people who are disconnected at this level, become addicted to negativity. Chaos, fighting, blaming, shaming, anger, fear, resentment, and destruction, then become substitutes for love, compassion, happiness, health, wealth, happiness and authenticity. How sad is that?

5 Reasons people are addicted to negativity

Many people are addicted to negativity because they are:

  • · Programmed with negativity.

They have been programmed with negativity in the form of lies, deceit, misinformation, fear and abuse. It is their go-to place. They know nothing else. Their reaction to fight or flight is well ingrained.

  • · Driven by fear.

The main driving force is fear. This is not only applicable to a person, but also a group, family, culture, community, or country. Most of our global community is discontented and motivated by fear. People think that fear is normal. It is their go-to place. They even create fearful stories and situations to maintain the fear reaction and the chemical reactions that go with it. This causes an addiction. They are even fearful of change and a new mindset. Resistance and fighting unfortunately give them a false sense of power. Unfortunately, they need to maintain this delusional power position to survive.

  • · Addicted to physical chemicals associated with negativity

Negativity release certain chemicals like adrenaline into the bloodstream. People get addicted to these physical reactions and chemicals. They regularly need a fix, just like drug addicts need a fix. They then create problems, look for a fight, go on the attack, or create chaos, while feeding off this negative energy.

  • · Belong to negative feeding grounds

Their main aim is to create negative feeding grounds for their addiction. They seek out people and groups that will complain, blame, shame, and belittle others. We even find adrenaline junkies. To many, being negative is their cue card to be accepted, so they talk with and tag along. To some, this is better than being rejected and alone.

  • · Disconnected from the solution

They are disconnected from love, compassion, and caring. They are disconnected from their power spot and original DNA blueprint and have lost contact with the universal grid that provides the power/energy to move forward. They then need to create their own feeding grounds in order to survive. Because they don't know how to love and be loved. What a dark and depressing situation?

Negative people do not need our judgment - they need our understanding, help, love, compassion, and support.

Help and assistance

One of the most important lessons I have learned is that you cannot help another person. You can only bring the solution to them. They first need to stop the reactions above and choose to change. Only then are they open to any help, support, and assistance.

However, we can provide solutions in all shapes, forms, and sizes. When a person is ready, they will take the solution. Till then, we can do the following to help solve the 'negativity addiction'.

Turning negativity into happiness

Here are a few things you can do to solve the 'negativity addiction' issue

  • Make sure you are free and not addicted to negativity

  • Stop all negative communication that takes you nowhere

  • Remove your energy, your presence, from negative feeding grounds. By just becoming still, doing nothing, and/or removing your contribution, you change the dynamics. One of two things could happen. You could change the dynamics of the whole situation, or, you get thrown u out for not cooperating. Your choice. Remember, you will get tested.

  • Address fear with facts. Bring the truth to the table. Truth sets you free. Educate yourself to bring the facts, truth, honesty, and integrity to the table. Fear, like hate, is a learned reaction. Little children don't know fear or hate. Fear like hate can be unlearned.

  • Bring positive vibes, love, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. The experience of these factors, not only minimises fear, can create a whole new physical reaction. Happy hormones jump into action and can even cancel out the chemicals of negative reactions. Love changes everything. Just like negativity - people can become addicted to love and all it brings. How cool is that?

  • Remember Epigenetics. This is the ability where one fish can change the whole school of fish for the better.

  • Teach people how to love and be loved. Start with yourself.

How do we achieve long-lasting change?


We teach people how to coach themselves. In upcoming posts we will find answers to the following questions, what is self-coaching? Who coaches who in self-coaching? Why is self-coaching so important? What are the benefits of self-coaching? What do I need to know about self-coaching? Where can we learn self-coaching? You can start with the book on self-coaching.

  • Authentic self

We have two parts of self. On the one side, we find an authentic self, encoded as our DNA blueprint. It is connected, centred, and grounded, in honesty, truth, integrity, and authenticity. Here we find all the positive energy that includes the solutions to all problems, with the necessary skills and tools to create a future of health, wealth, happiness, success, and prosperity that benefits everyone, including Mother Earth.

Here we find an addiction to happiness and all that it brings.

  • · Shadow ego-self

On the other side, we find a disconnected shadow ego-self that has lost its way. It is struggling to survive in the delusional world it created, which is filled with negativity, fear, anger, destruction, and chaos. It is struggling with itself.

People need to stop It is here people need to choose.

  • · Hit the reset button

We can help people to hit the reset button. We can teach them to make new choices. They can learn how to coach themselves out of the darkness and negativity, the shadow ego-self created. By creating a new vision of a new future, people begin to see the light.

As you become the solution, you can bring the solution. However, Galileo said:

You cannot teach a man anything;

He must find it within himself”


  • · Start with yourself

We can only help and change ourselves. Stop, clean up and clean out your old life. Turn yourself and your life around. By learning to coach yourself, you become part of the solution. Now you can be of service to others.

You become the solution. You begin to lead by example – just where you are.

Start here

Till next time

Stay safe – stay connected

Brenda Hattingh



  • See the website for more info

  • · Book dr Brenda as a speaker at your next event. Email.

References [i] Hattingh, Brenda. (2012.b). Power Intelligence. Mastering your miracle mind. Currency Communications Pty. Ltd.: Johannesburg. ooo0ooo


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